TODAY IS JANUARY 2, 2006

And a very Happy Lobster Newburg to all. Honestly, I am kind of tired of the old "Happy New Year" thing. Really folks, unless the person is giving me millions of dollars, my 2006 will be just like the 2005; I will still pay the mortgage, the credit cards and buy gasoline and groceries. What is so happy about that? Well, what? You tell me.

Christmas is for children and with all the colored Christmas lights, gifts cookies and nice meals; it is a joyous occasion. I love Christmas, I love the colored lights, the cookies, the happy kids, the cookies and the big festive meals. I don't like white lights, Santa Claus and bills. Oh, did I mention that I like cookies? Gingerbread, pumpkin, chocolate chip, sugar cookies; I love cookies of all kinds. Felix baked one batch of chocolate chip cookies and stopped. What a grinch he is.

Right now, Felix is laying in his easy chair in his room groaning about an upset tummy and a case of the squirts. I have no idea what caused his discomfort; I ate the same supper last night that he did. He may have overworked himself, yes that is what I said, overworked himself yesterday. He got some wild idea in his noggin that it was time to shred all old bill statements from 2004 and 2005. He burned up two paper shredders in the process. He started on New Years Eve and burned up the two shredders, On Sunday, January 1, we were at Office Depot to buy two new paper shredders.

Felix, then, cleaned house from top to bottom. I do not know what got in him, possibly a feather or a wild hair; but he worked himself into a bad case of the squirts. Squirts, I am not talking about the soda pop here. He says he won't eat a thing. I even offered to fix him a bowl of his favorite chicken noodle soup; but he refused it. The boy is sick, I tell you, sick The way he is moaning I am ready to call the morgue and book a table for him. From all the activity on Saturday evening, I understand they have standing room only at the morgue. Get it? Standing Room Only. Ah well, get your own cookies.

Felix has the rest of this week off work. He sure picked a nice way for a vacation, being sick and a sore pooper at that. That is one thing I do not have to suffer anymore. The colostomy has eliminated the pooper. Somehow I will bet you didn't really want to know all this. No cookies for you either.

Last night I was talking on the radio to two fellows that grew up across the street from each other 70 years ago. It was kind of nice to hear them bring up names that they both knew; but they did not know each other. We all talked about the early history of the city, the railroad tracks that no longer exist, the time a kid climbed up on the top of a boxcar and stood up to touch the hot 600VDC trolley line, of course it killed him, things we all could remember. What ever happened to trolleys? What ever happened to trains? Yeah, I know there are still a few of them around; but 90% of the tracks that used to exist are gone.

Sort of makes me wonder if the U. S. of A. is putting all it's eggs into one basket. There are too damn many trucks out there on the highways as it is, we sure don't need more. I wonder if everything ships in small quantities nowadays? Go to buy something and you will find out that it is on backorder. What ever happened to the days of a boxcar load of something, a truck load of something? Now the businesses only order what they will sell in one week and take orders for the next two weeks. That cuts down their inventory, thereby cutting their taxable goods on hand. That kind or retail business sucks. No cookies for them, either.

Now that I have gotten rid of the competition, I think I will venture into the kitchen for a can of soda and a couple of cookies. Happy Lobster Newburg to you.