SICK I AM, I AM, OR AT LEAST I WAS.

Felix and I did not make our planned trip on Friday and I was just not feeling up to making a post. Thursday night I got a case of diarrhea and was up every two hours going to the bathroom. I will spare you the detail of all that, except to say that when a colostomy patient gets diarrhea, it becomes a major happening.

Back when I was still doing the chemotherapy I had a bout with this, wound up with dehydration, and was hospitalized for two days. I didn't want this to happen again. I was scared shitless. Bad pun.

I skipped all my medication on Thursday night and again on Friday morning. After taking Lomotil on Friday, the problem began to cure. It took all day Friday before I began to feel better. Friday evening my abdomen began to swell up like a beach ball, I had gas. It hurt so bad that I was ready for Felix to take me to the hospital; the damn stuff wouldn't find a way out. Finally, after about 4 hours of moaning and groaning, I took some medication that could have made it worse; but thankfully, it didn't. Within an hour, I was better. I am trying to be so careful about what medications I put in my body. The bad pun applies here, too.

I went to bed early and that is why there was no post on Friday night. Believe me, being a colostomy patient is not a run in the park. You can eat certain foods that produce undesirable symptoms. Even carbonated beverages can produce problems, and I dearly love the Coke with Lime, Ginger Ale and Orange juice.

Today I feel much better. The headache was gone by 1 AM and all the aches and pains were gone by 3 AM. I got up at 10 AM and began my normal pestering of Felix, who was still trying to ignore the fact that the sun was up and shinning brightly. In other words, Felix was doing his normal Saturday morning thing of sleeping late. Three of our six cats were keeping him company. Felix is our big two footed cat. LOL. Sorry folks, I guess I couldn’t resist the pun fun.

Things are looking up, I got a state income tax refund check yesterday; a big check for eleven bucks. That doesn’t offset the $3600 I paid to the feds, does it? Now will someone tell me how to avoid having that happen again? See, even us gays pay our way in life. So, GWB, get off my ass.

BLOGLADDER

I have been invited to join Blogladder; but have not made up my mind about that-. I really don’t want to have two blogs going at the same time; I have enough problems keeping up with this one. I may do that later. My first hurdle to overcome is to learn how to post pictures, links and all that stuff here on Blogger. I am not much of an author.

Well bois and girls, keep on keeping on and have a good life. I will be back tomorrow.

SHORT POST TONIGHT

Tonight we must be in bed early. Felix normally hits the sheets about 9 to 9:30 PM and most nights it AM before I call it time for beddie bye. Since we have an all day trip scheduled for tomorrow, I am going to have to keep Felix's bedtime hours. Believe me, it is not my preferred time to go to bed. I like late-night TV; History Channel and stuff like that; but since I need to be up at a much earlier hour tomorrow, I will be a nice little boy and go to bed early tonight.

Hopefully, tomorrow evening I will be able to post something about our trip. It should be a 13 hour experience, so I am not promissing anything. I may come home and go right to bed.

The weather will be wet all over the state, so keep your fingers crossed that we have no accidents or bad experiences.

Later bois snd girls.

WHERE DO THEY ALL COME FROM?

I wish I could remember the words to the Beatle song Elenor Rigby. I think that was the name. As I get older, I find I forget so much. Like the turkey, I probably would forget to come in out of the rain. I gotta watch what I say; because I am getting a lot of readers. I don't want to offend anyone so I shouldn't say things like fuck or other four letter words. Felix used to write a blog that had readers that he really didn't want; but how do you tell someone to go away, especially the kind of reader he had.

Censors are everywhere, and I do not agree with censorship. My standards are not for everyone; but they are sufficient for me. Don't tell me what I can say, don't tell me what I can read, and don't tell me what movies I can watch. That just brings to mind Mr. Hitler. He banned books and had people killed that he didn't agree with. Our United States of America is beginning to turn the same way. Don't get me wrong, I am not opposed to religion; but I believe religion is a matter of personal choice. You may not believe the same way I do; but I do not have the right to condemn your standards. At the same time, you do not have the right to condemn my standards.

Many people condemn gays. My opinion is that they do this because they do not understand gays. The same thing used to happen to blacks, Jews, and any other people that the majority society does not understand. Hey, gays are just like everyone else. Who can say what causes gay people; but I do know it is something that happens before birth. Some people believe that gay people choose to be gay. They think we have a certain lifestyle that attracts vulnerable people to be gay. For those who ask when I chose to be gay; I ask them when they ch9se to be straight. Gays are born gay. I knew that I was different from some of my playmates when I was 6 years old. I always wanted to see the other guys naked.

Did I look like the other guys naked? Did they have the same desires and dreams that I had? Six years old was a bit young to go exploring these things; but these were questions that I had and wanted to have answered. It was many years before I would be able to ask these questions. I did find some answers by the old "playing doctor" thing; but that just brought on more questions, serious questions. Being gay is just all about sex. There is a whole lot more. Love is something that many people never discover. It matters just as much to a gay man as it does to a straight man. The only difference is the gender.

Straight men talk about sexy women. Gay men like to see and ogle sexy men. Same thing, just a different gtender. See, being gay isn't that different from being straight. All we want is to love and be loved.

Our sex life is as different from them as some people think. Not all gays "bareback" in fact, not all gays engage in anal sex. There are many straight couples that engage in anal sex. What's different. A hard dick up her ass is the same as a hard dick up his ass. A blow job from her really isn't as good as a blow job from him. He knows more about it and how to do it.

Oh, did I get carried away on the subject? Well, did I lie?

COOKING FOR A PART-TIME GOURMET

Cooking for someone else is tough. Felix grew up with a totally different palate than I did. My mother fixed food from her background; more of a country cooking style. Felix never ate the things I ate. How about fried mush. I had that a lot during the years after WW2. Only threw that in to show the spread in our backgrounds.

Mom used to make fried sweet potatoes. She peeled them, then sliced them , fried them in oil and sugared them when they were done. Hey, they were good. Felix acts like I am trying to poison him when I bring things like this up. He really freaks out when I mention Liver and Onions. My aunt was the best fried chicken cook in the world. They raised their own chickens and Sunday morning two of the chickens gave their all for us. Wow, fried chicken, mashed potatoes and rich pepper gravy. Felix doesn't like rich pepper gravy. He wants brown gravy from a box. You know the kind, where you add a cup of hot water, stir it and pretend it is gravy. My family knew how to make real gravy, from a rue of oil and flour, then added milk and seasonings.

Sometimes I wonder how Felix managed to survive. Felix has a younger brother that eats like a pick bird. This guy is one year younger than Felix; but must weigh all of 120 pounds dripping wet. His idea of Christmas dinner is a teaspoon of this, a teaspoon of that, smell the turkey and go watch football. What a horrible existance.

As you can tell, I like to eat and eat well. I am not big on French cooking, fancy cooking; but I like good old country-style down-home cooking. Since we were poor I learned to eat many things that some people turn their noses up at today. We had pork chops or pork steaks at least once a week. OK, most people don't know what a pork steak is. It is a pork butt, sliced into steaks and fried or grilled on a grill. Sure makes good BBQ. I don't think my mother ever cooked ribs on the grill. Ribs were boiled with kraut and served with mashed potatoes. Our main meat was PORK. Here piggie, piggie.

Felix's grandfather could do some really good cooking. I loved his beef stew; but Felix was not that wild about it. He ate it; but I think he did it because grandpa told him to. Grandpa knew how to add wine to almost any meat and make it taste wonderful. That old guy had some wonderful qualities about him, even if the grandkids did argue with him. Tonight, we ate at Denny's because I didn't feel like cooking. I saw an older man at the table next to us that made me look twice at him. His profile was very much like Felix's late grandfather. I miss the old guy, even if he did call me tutti-fruity. I will never forget the look in his eyes as I fed him soup in the hospital. That look still haunts me.

Why do people have to die? To make room for new children. Hell, just stop making new children, then the older folks can stay around longer. My mom was 87 years and 11 months when she passed away. She wasn't the best cook in the world; but a lot of love went into her cooking and that made it very special to me. Felix used to eat her cooking and didn't complain.

You only have one set of parents; love them as if there were no tomorrow. Trust me, MOM can never be replaced. In fact, love everyone the same way. Once any of us are gone, there is no replacement.

THIS IS NOT MY DAY

Today, I am feeling a bit blah. Not sure why; but my head feels heavy and my balance is a litle more off that normal. Well, normal for me. Since the stroke in 1995, my balance has been off a bit. Today, it is off a little more than just a bit.

I am watching TV; but I really should be in bed. Felix was not wild about the roast pork loin I fixed for supper. He is not a bit pork eater. Honestly folks, I don't know what meat he likes to eat. No, not dick, I am trying to be serious here. He will eat pork, beef, fish, but he is not big on any of them. I think he could eat tacos and pizza twice a week. Felix must have been raised on junk food. My mommie, (like that one?) fixed me a full meal every evening.

Lunch may have been a hamburger; but supper was a full meal. Sometimes pork, sometimes chicken and, yes, we had liver. I love liver; but, of course, Felix would barf if I served him liver. Mom was not a biggie on fish or beef. Beef because it was more pricy when I was growing up We had some hard times when I was growing up. I remember one Christmas when we couldn't even afford a Christmas tree. The neighbors chipped in and bought us a small tree. I remember the lights on that tree were the size of flashlight bulbs. Weird arrangement.

How did I get on this walk down memory lane? Well, OK, my life as a child was not all toys and happiness. There were some tough times after WW2. Even though mom owned a duplex and an appartment with garages beneath, we had to go live with relatives and let the income from the rental pay for the house. There was something called the Office of Price Administration, OPA, that kept prices under tight control. Would you like to rent a four room apartment for ten bucks a month? Yeah, who wouldn't? It came with a garage, too.

OK, the downside was this was back in the days of a coal fired furnace. I not only had to haul the coal in, I had to haul the cinders out. I was a busy little boy when I wasn't in the bedroom pulling my pud. And I did enough of that to become an expert. We didn't have a car, we used the public transportation. Ten cents could get you a ride downtown, another ten cents back. OK, so I sound old to you. Trust me, a person is only as old as they feel, and today I feel like 105.

Have you guess by now that I really don't have a subject to write about, today? Felix and I are planning a trip on Friday that should take us about three hours up and three hours back. Where are we going? To prison, where else. Yep, that's what I said, PRISON. We are going to visit a friend of ours that is behind bars. He did a bad thing and got himself stuck behind bars for 20 years. He expects to be parolled in another 4 years. I hope he is able to have a happy life after his parole. Life behind bars is not nearly as easy as one may think. It isn't safe, either.

I hope our drive to and from the prison is safe, however. I am doing most of the wheel work and Felix will be sitting back and snoozing. We are hoping to find a couple of good restaurants to feed our appetites along the way. I was thinking about leaving our home at 8 AM; but the more I think of it, I think we need to leave at 7AM. That will give us an hour for breakfast somewhere along the way, and still put us in the intake office by 11 AM. We can have lunch in prison and leave there about 4PM to head home. A stop along the way for supper should put us home about 8 PM Friday. I hope the cats do not miss us too badly. This will be the first time we have left them alone for more than 6 hours at a time.

Keep your fingers crossed. As I always say, have fun bois and girls. Make Love, not war. And be sure to clean up the juices.

Hu Du U Reed?

Do you really need a translation? Just sound it out big boi. Since I have a blog, I have taken to reading other blogs just to see what they talk about and what is on other people's minds. Some of them are tame, some are wild. I won't give names right now; later, when I have the time I will make a list of those blogs I enjoy reading and will comment on some.

Some folks are into asking others questions. I guess in an attempt to learn more about them. That sounds better than wanting to have an affair with them. OK, just plain, wanting to have sex with them. LOL. NO, I am sure it is just an attempt to talk to them and gain a new friend.

I have been on a computer since the early 1980s. There were no graphics back then. It was all text. AOL did not even exist. Compuserve was the biggie; and it was as boring as all hell. There were some porn sites that I surfed to and downloaded pictures of a few nice bois. Hey, those pictures are still out there. Trust me, there really isn't much new in the way of anked boy pictures. And, NO, I have never seen the elusive 12 inch cock. Even a 10 incher. Most men are lucky to have 7 inches. Hey, I have seen a few in my day, not that I have measured them with a ruler; but I have stood close enough to them to be able to measure them with my own hard dick. I know what i had and they compared favorably.

The idea of friends via email and the computer is very good. I have made a lot of freinds with this silly keyboard and pile of transistors. I have one friend who is in South Korea that I converse with at least once a week. He is my age and as gay as a three dollar bill. No, he isn't out; but I hav gaydar. Do you? I spotted him the first time we met, way back in the 1960s. We have never had sex; because we are not each other's type; but we do share stories back and forth and sometimes send pictures of what or who we think is hot. He visits about every four or five years with his new boyfriend. Always a different one. That boy has had more dicks in him than Elizabeth Taylor. Notice, I didn't say "up his ass". Don't think Liz would do that.

Anyway, I seem to be getting a lot of readers and I just wanted you to know that I am reading some of you as well.

WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME?

I'll get to the title in a minute. I see Felix is in a tell all mood tonight. That's OK, I guess. I gave him a copy of my sexual memoirs a couple of weeks ago and I told everything I could think of, so I guess I planted the seed. Felix and I love each other and although I can get a little jealous at times, I do trust him . I trust him to the point that he has access to my finances and my checkbook. Felix is my Attorney In Fact if I become incapicated in any way and am unable to make decisions for myself. We have talked this over and he knows what I want with my life, or death.

That is a scary thing to talk about. The chances are that I will kick the bucket before he does; simply because of our ages. I do have a cemetary plot available. My mom passed away a few years ago and had decided to not use the plot. She preferred cremation. I don't know if I completely agreed with her; but I did not argue. This is something you need not argue over. Felix and I have talked about burial next to each other. His family does not have cemetary plots picked out as yet, so this was Felix's idea and the more I think about it, the more I want it.

Of course, after I kick off Felix would be free to find a new partner and make whatever decisions he wants for his life. I would not expect him to adhere to anything we agreed on 10 or 15 years after my death. That would be very unfair; but, as I said, it would be nice to have my lover burried next to me. I hope that my death is not the end of our relationship. I hope we can be united again in Heaven. I certainly would not wish to be reunited with my ex-wife. The bible says that we will be known as we are known. That raises a very interesting point. One that I will just have to wait till I get there to have an answer for.

The title "Why is it always me", refers to friends that are always calling on me to find answers to their questions or provide information. Just a few minutes ago, a good friend called and asked me to look up some information on the Internet for him. He has a new computer and a DSL connection to the Internet, so why me? I don't mind doing things like this; but I did think that he could have done it himself. Well, at least thsi time he has correct information. LOL I wouldn't steer him wrong.

My little princess is coming up from his basement office, so I guess I may as well close this post and talk to him. See you folks in a few hours with more boring information from our boring lives.

Have fun bois and girls, Remember, Who Loves Ya?

MY WONDERFUL WORLD OF COLOR

It's Friday, HOORAY. Well, that is what Felix says. Tonight he showed his Italian side, we had supper at a local Italian joint. Felix had Lasagna, that's Italian. Me, pork chops made Italian style. I over-ordered and over-ate. The chops were good; but mashed potatoes and gravy were not Italian at all. I should have ordered a lighter meal with pasta with red sauce. Now that is good. We turned down dessert and came home.

The cats got their fingernails trimmed tonight by Dr. Felix. He always does that for them. Have I told you that cats do not like to have their claws trimmed? One of the little girls made that very clear to Felix by leaving evidence of her sharp claws on his chest and face. I think he gave up on her. Our cats are not addicted to clawing the furniture, so I am content to let them do their natural claw maintenance on their cat tree. However, I am sure Felix will try it again next weekend. Felix never gives up, even when he knows he should. That boy would argue with a signpost. Speaking of signposts; we saw a street named after his brother the other day. "Dead End".

I have no idea what the weekend has in store for us, my partner and I. I have an event to attend in the morning; but Felix will probably sleep in. Since he gets up at 5 AM during the week I try to let him sleep as late as he wants to on Saturday and Sunday. Hey, how about the color today? Really stupid, isn't it. In conjunction with the transmitter project, I had to make up an XL spreadsheet showing the information and the settings and I thought a bit of color would make the info easier to read if I added a little color. So, you get bombarded with color today.

Now, since I am a gay man, lets talk about sex. Do you like sex? Is the Pope Catholic? Yeah, I thought you would agree with me, sex is kinda nice. Even if you are all alone, sex is nice. There is no one to satisfy, except yourself. Now, what could be better than that? Why do so many men try to tell us that they do not do that? Ya know there are two kinds of men, those that admit they choke their chicken, and the rest are liars. That's it folks. That is our discussion of sex for today. What did you want, a demonstration? An instruction manual, maybe?

Oh, one more comment on sex. Do you know why making love to a school teacher is so great? Because they make you do it over until you do it right. (Wasn't worth it, was it?)

Now, since it is Friday night and I am out of ideas for this blog, I think I will close this edition of whatever you wish to call it and slip off into never never land. Oh, I will say Hi to Mikie Jacko for you. Which leads me to ask you one last question, What do you think his chances are? Lets not quibble over whether he is gay. He is. My gaydar spotted that fact when he was 5 years old.

Rock on bois and girls. Love your partner.

BARK IS WORSE THAN BITE, NO TEETH MARKS

Honestly folks, my bark is worse than my bite. In fact, I have never bitten anyone; well there was one exception. I was about 6 years old and I did bite someone. I actually can't remember who; but I remember getting my little butt whipped for biting. I remember seeing the teeth marks that I left on his/her arm. Felix will attest to the fact that I do not leave teeth marks. I have learned the art from Felix; he is an expert and I will attest to that. Oh yes, I will attest to that.

My ex wife once tried that feat. I had to tell her the cardinal rule; "Suck baby, don't blow; blow is just a name". She never mastered the art. I did not compare notes with here next husband, didn't want to make him feel inferior. LOL. Nothing conceited about me. Last year I used to be conceited; but this year I have no faults. Hey, am I on a roll or what? Felix says, "not a roll, more like a hot cross bun". Bitch on, little buddy, bitch on. You know I love you. Reminds me of Princess Dew, he can be a bitch at times, too. Cute little princess, he is. Felix and I both agree that he would be a "keeper". (You gotta be a fisherman to appreciate that one.)

Tonight I really don't feel like being serious, so I won't. All my life I have fought to get ahead, I was always the underdog. I always reached for the brass ring to get ahead. It's like Emeril said once, a little head never hurt anyone. Oooohh, did I say that? Speaking of Emeril, I am watching him fry chicken right now. I guess that is better than choking it. Hey, I am an expert at that one. I must have killed 100,000 chickens in my younger days, all by choking them. Get out the butter boys, I am making hot rolls tonight. Oh, I should explain, the butter is for spreading on the hot rolls, not as an aid in choking the chicken. Use KY for that if you need it.

I told you, we discuss sex. But not dirty sex; we take a bath first. Hot, sweaty sex is best in the back seat of the car or out in the woods where you can run naked. Then try to explain to the doctor, why you have poison ivy on your ass and balls. I knew a guy who once had that problem. I laughed for an hour when he told me. He never would fully explain how it happened.

I am still waiting for the new instructions from the east coast for the radio transmitter. No, I am not choking the chicken while waiting; but I am contemplating what I would like to do to Felix. Tomorrow, Friday, I am taking the little guy out to supper. If I wine and dine him properly, maybe I can get him drunk and have my way with him. LOL. Actually, we have enough wine here at home; but neither one of us is a big drinker of alcohol. A good bottle of champaign may not last too long; but a bottle of wine will be used in cooking long before we get around to drinking it. In fact, if I remember right, we still have one bottle in the cupboard left from last summer.

Have fun bois and girls. Don't eat too much chicken.

THREE DOWN, ONE TO GO

I have finally done the basic programming on the transmitter. Three days of entering numbers and information has taken it's toll on my nerves. Today, I was ready to climb the wals. Felix understood, even though our tempers were stretched. I treated the two of us to a nice Mexican dinner. Felix could eat Mexican twice a week; he is as addicted to the stuff as I am to Chinese food. I love Schezwan Shrimp. The hotter the better. Of course, I have come to love steak fajitas, too. The hotter the better here, too.

Now, as to the damn radio transmitter. Is it done? NO! I am waiting on the final specifications from the east coast. You know, any technical book is outdated by the time it is printed. Just like computers, just like the latest in medicine; by the time it hits the market; there is a better product on the drawing board. Well, the radio is programmed with the specifications I had; but a new book has just been released this month that will have the "latest and greatest" info in it. I put that in quotes; because I never believe the hype. I am a stubborn cuss, I have to prove it for myself. Just ask Felix if you don't believe me. I have tried his nerves and patience too many times. Why he puts up with me, I do not understand. I just know that I love him more than I have ever loved any other person on earth.

As I type this; I am watching the Discover Channel. They are showing the construction of the world's largest airport in Hong Kong. What a feat. I am saving it to TiVo for Felix. He and I have totally different tastes in TV programming. He likes the FBI stories and the real case crimes on the Discover Channel and A & E. I think they are interesting; but I do like to see how modern marvels are made. Things such as the world's largest building in Kuala Lampur. Very interesting. Felix is sleeping and I am getting sleepy. I hope the litle felines let me sleep in the morning. Don't wake me up at no 7 AM and don't let that damn telephone ring. I don't mind if the call is important; but, lately, I have been bothered by those fucking telemarketeers. In my opinion, they all should be lined up against a wall and shot. In the balls.

Sleep well, folks, Enjoy your partners and love them completely. See ya in about 24 hours.

BLOGGER DID IT AGAIN, I lost another post.

Blogging can be fun; but when the damn blogger program publishes only half of what a person wrote, it ain't fun.

I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted that I had missed a day and Felix jumped all over my shit about it. I should remind him of the days he misses. RIGHT? Do you know how far I would get?

Last night I just didn't feel like writing a damn blog. Felix came into my radio/computer room with a cookbook and put it on the shelf reserved for radio manuals. Cookbooks belong in the kitchen where you use them while cooking. I can't read a fucking recipe and then run to the kitchen to cook. Hell, I am lucky to remember to unzip my pants when I go to the bathroom. Even then, if I can't find my little weenie quick enough . . . oh, forget it. Anyway, I told Felix that I didn't want the cookbook there; but he insisted that he should put it there. We exchanged a few words and I wasn't in the mood to write a blog after that.

The cookbo0k had been on the kitchen counter, right under the telephone; but Felix didn't like that. OK, so I took it back to the kitchen; but managed to find a place in a drawer so he won't see it. That should satisfy Tinkerbell. Oh, shit, will I ever catch hell about that remark. LOL. One of these days, Felix, I am going to get out that big RAMBONE whatchamacallit and make you whimper like a little puppy again. Felix likes it when I do that. "OH, OH, oh, oh, whimper, whimper". You should see the fountain. He loves it and so do I.

Last night I was in the beginning stages of programming a radio transmitter. These things are a bear to do. What ever happened to the good old days when we had big water-cooled transmitter tubs, big condensers and capacitors? Now we have transistors, diodes, ICs, LEDs and all this solid state shit. OK, I admit that we can do a lot more with a very small package; but it takes a computer programmer to get it done. Come to think of it, I like large packages much more. Reach out and sneak a feel of a large package and get your own jolt of electricity. Love it. Felix, come hither, I want to feel your package. Actually, I want to do much more with your package. Well, back to reality.

I thought I gave up computer programming two years ago. I am retired, or supposed to be. Sometimes I would like to wash my hands of this retirement joke and go back to working full time. Notice I said "sometimes". I really don't want to go back to getting up at 5 AM and trudging out in the cold winter or the very hot summer. I kind of like being able to sit home and watch the rest of the world go by. This retirement is not always the "golden years"; however. "Golden years", sometimes it is more of a golden shower. That has it's place; but not for me.

I have lots more programming to do on the transmitter, so enough of this typing and back to reading from the cheat sheets and pushing buttons. Hey Felix, want to try a "push me, pull you?" Is that all I have on my mind, SEX? Well, yeah.

MAYBE I SHOUD GO INTO HIDING

Wow, 18 readers in one day, unbelieveable. And I didn't think last night's post was that good. Wait till I tell you about how I used to have sex with my stuffed animals when I was 8, now that should bring the readers in. OK, OK, only kidding. I didn't really have sex with stuffed animals, they did it on their own. LOL

Today I got a craving for Cajun Fried Chicken. I don't know what brought that on; but I just had to go to Popeye's for some Cajun Fried Chicken, Korn on the Kob and Red Beans and Rice. It may not mean much to you; but it sure did to me. It was good. Felix thought so, too. He had the same thing. Now you know why I weigh so damned much. If this keeps up, I will have to visit the stock yards to get weighed. Well, either that or to a truck weight station on the Interstate.

I hated myself this morning. Felix came out of his bedroom wearing his undershorts. This is not unusual for Felix. He doesn't look too bad in them. I like to tickle him and pester him. Anyway, he stood in front of me; dropped the shorts; and waved his cream filled twinkie at me. That usually means one thing. Lets go to bed and I will feed you my twinkie for breakfast. Normally I would have jumped at the chance to wrap my lips around that little thing and make it as big as possible; but this morning, I just wasn't up to it. No pun intenced. I had stayed up a little too late on Saturday night studying a service manual and all I really wanted to do on Sunday morning was to sleep. I did just that, both before we had dinner and after we got home.

As usual, Felix and I went to the pet food store where he dropped another 40 bucks or so for pet food and then to his favorite haunt, the grocery store. Felix hates the grocery store. I never did understand that; but I will never ask him to go grocery shopping for me. He climbs the wall if I ask.

Have you ever heard of a soda called "Jarritos"? It comes in 4 flavors, or that is all our grocery carries; orange, limon (lemon) furit punch (strawberry) and pineapple. I love the stuff. Especially the orange. I don't know why; but it really hits the spot for me. It may be the sugar, it is higher than American made soda. Oh, I forgot to mention that Jarritos is "Hecho en Mexico" (made in Mexico). Sorry folks, the stuff is just good. We bought $12.00 of the stuff.

Add that to our normal purchase of Mountain Dew, Coke w/Lime (I can't tell the difference), Ginger Ale; milk and orange juice. We should be keeping the path to the bathroom hot this week. Felix takes two or three cans to work with him every day and I down a bottle or two of Jarritos during the day, so we go through the sugar laden drinks quite well. Too well. Neither one of us like diet soda. I do like Diet Nestea with Lemon; but I forgot to buy a couple of six packs of that. I always forget something and have to go back at least once during the week.

There are two things that I am very good at, forgetting and proscrastination. If it were not for having a bad memory, I wouldn't have any memory at all.

Have a great week bois and girls. Don't turn your partner down. Have at it.

FELIX MICHAELANGELO

Felix, it turns out, should be acclaimed as a new Michaelangelo. Stick a paint brush in this studs hand and he will paint up a storm. He did on Saturday. We had been planning to paint the sides of the entrance to the garage for quite a while, actually for almost two years. Today, the job got done, thanks to my little Felix Michaelangelo.

After that job, he actually got the lawn mower running. I didn't think it would fire up that easily since it has been two years since we last used it; but Felix charged up the battery, filled the gas tank and viola, the damn thing ran like a charm. So guess what, he cut the grass. Well, what did you think I was going to say? You usually build a house with a lawn mower? Even though Felix hires a landscaper to do the lawn he decided to save some money and cut it every other week. That cuts his expenses in half. The guy has a good head on his shoulders, and one in his pants, too.

Our next painting job will be to take the shutters down and paint them the same color. The house could use a good sprucing up. The shutters are something that I can do by laying them across a couple of saw horses or chairs. I like to paint; but sometimes things get a little messy. I have to admit that Felix not only did a good job with both coats of paint, he was very neat with the paint brush. After all, I don't call him Felix the neatnik for nothing. I would have left a trail of paint drops across the garage floor, Felix dropped only three little drops of paint from the brush. I don't know how neat Michaelangelo was; but Felix probably put him to shame today.

Now on the grass cutting, he may face a different story. Especially when the landscaper gets here on Tuesday. Felix is going to have to do some quick stepping to explain his way out of that one.

I would love to have rewarded him with a wild romp in bed; but he hasn't approached that subject. Instead he had asked if we could visit the same chain of restaurant that we had last Saturday. We found one only 9 miles from here so I took Felix out for a good supper. I really think he puts food before sex. Now me, I consider sex as good food.

PHARMACISTS WHO PLAY DOCTOR

My partner, Felix, is covered by my medical insurance, thanks to a very understanding former employer. This has been going on for about 5 years, so there is no reason to misunderstand the situation. Recently Felix had a dosage of medication changed by our doctor from 75 mcg to 37.5 mcg. Felix sent a new prescription to the pharmacy.

I am guessing here; but this sounds logical. The pharmacy looked at it and decided that someone made a mistake. They checked the old prescription, then called the doctor's office. A new person, or at least, someone we have never dealt with before; told the pharmacy that 75 was correct. They did not check the records thoroughly to find the change. Also, they overlooked a not to not release any information unless Felix approved it. Now, I don't know if that would hold up in court; but it should have put up a flag.

Now, armed with this new info from the doctor's office, someone wrote 75 on the prescription and filled it with capsules of 75 strength. If this had been a pill or tablet, there would be no problem of cutting them in half; but how in the hell can you cut a capsule in half? Of course, they sent a new bottle of 75 strength to Felix.

How does a gay man react to a situation like this. Just as one would expect; he got flaming mad. Felix has written a letter to corporate headquarters quoting the names of those he talked to, and enclosed a copy of the original prescription which he always keeps on hand in his file cabinet. BTW guys, that is not a bad idea. Make a copy of your prescriptions and keep a copy in your file drawer or desk.

I would say that the shit has now hit the fan. Big cow piles of stinking shit. Our prescriptions are very cheap, no matter what the retail cost actualy is; but that does ot justify the fuck up by the pharmacy or the doctor's office. Felix is keeping the U. S. Mail hot tonight.

Oh, been reading other blogs today. SHIT is my favorite cuss word. If I get extremely mad, I will scream shit fuck. I can have a very filthy mouth at times. I keep telling Felix that he should shove his dick in my mouth, to keep the shit from falling out.

Have a happy weekend bois.

LAS VEGAS FAQ

I watched a TV show on the Travel Channel last night, or rather very early this morning called Las Vegas FAQ. What attracted me to it was that 1. I had just finished watching a poker tournament on the Travel Channel and 2. It caught my attention because it almost looked like Las Vegas FAG. Now, I had no intention of missing a show about Las Vegas gay men. That would be very interesting.

Las Vegas is a very interesting city, one that I would love to visit; but Felix and I just can't seem to be able to schedule the right time to make the trip. First, there are only three times I would want to be there; 1. The Consumer Electronics Show; 2. The National Association of Broadcasters Convention and 3. The COMDEX show. I have two relatives that live there, so I would have to work in a visit with them while there. Also, we would have to have one of those fabulous suppers together, that people are always talking about. Maybe visit Bobby Flay's restaurant or Emeril"s restaurant; that would be nice.

Felix and I used to attend the Consumer Electronics Show (CES) in Chicago at McCormick Place in the early 90s; but they dropped the midwest CES show in favor of Las Vegas. That is a bit of a drive from Illinois and would cost a bit more than a three or five day trip to Chicago. Flying would be the only way to get there; but then we would have to rent a car. We have another friend who lives near Vegas and he would never forgive me if I didn't drop by for a visit. With the Grand Canyon and Lake Mead so closeby, it would be stupid of us not to visit those as well.

So you see, a simple trip to Vegas is not in the works for us. There would be no simple trip, it would be a week long stay at the very least. Now remember that we live with 6 cats. We would need a cat sitter for the time we were gone. Honestly, I do not think Felix nor I could stand to be away from them for a week. Our pets mean as much to us as we do to each other.

SIX CATS, you say? Yep, that is what I said. Felix changes the litter boxes every other night and scoops them every night. There is no smell in our house and the furniture is not damaged. We have two "cat trees" in the living room and they know that is the place to do their claw pulling. I was sitting in the living room this afternoon waiting for Felix to get home when the town Emergency Siren sounded off. All six cats ran to the back door to see what was going on. I kid you not, being home during the day, with six cats, does not get dull. They keep me entertained.

As much as Felix and I want to visit Las Vegas for one of the shows I mentioned AND SPEND A LITTLE TIME IN THE CASINOS, it probably will not happen. The only way we will go is if we can do it in a luxury motor home and take the cats with us.

MEOW, we are coming through, get out of our way. I wonder if we could get a horn modified so it sounds like a very loud and angry MEOW? That should do it, don't ya think?

WILD MAN, WILD THOUGHTS

Felix came home very tired this evening. He asked me to rub his neck and back, which I am always happy to do for him. Sometimes I reach around and tweak his nipples. This night I knew it was not the time to attempt to be funny or erotic. Somehow we got on the subject of sex (wouldn’t you know). I asked him if he knew the difference between sexy shit and shitty sex. I did get him to laugh.

Now that does bring up a very valid point. Sexy shit is fine. It can be very nice clothes, a hot car, a new TV and many things that we all would envy. On the other hand, shitty sex is something we all want to avoid. Even with a condom, no one wants to have sex that smells like shit. What else can I call it shit is shit? And it smells bad. No one likes bad smells. Before you engage in anal sex, always use an enema or douche, as we like to call it. Even the act of rimming requires a thorough washing of the area.

Now, I ask you; does my mind wonder from subject to subject? It sure does. Some people would say that I have a very fertile mind. I prefer to believe that I have a very perverted mind. I can think of things that no one in there right mind would come up with in a thousand years.

I should tell you that I am using Word to write this post. Last night’s post was done directly to blogger and after I spell checked it I read it. I saw some glaring errors. I type faster than I can think, or is that think faster than I type; anyway words were left out and spelling errors still got by the blogger spell checker. I guess Bill Gates does come in handy after all

Things that do not go well together:

1. Shitty sex.

2. Peanuts and Taffy.

3. Catsup and Brats.

4. Me and women.

5. Me and Jerry Falwell

6. Me and the Rev. Dobson.

7. Me and anyone preaching against gay people.

I guess you get my drift. I am gay and I do not take kindly to those who put us down. I was born this way and I knew it a very early age. I did not take lessons in being gay. I did not decide at some age to be gay. For those who think that, I ask them, “When did you decide to be straight?” No one ever has that decision to make, it happens naturally. What cause it: I have no idea. I do know there are more gay men and women out there than we know. Many “straight” people are living a lie. They are, in fact, as gay as you and I. They are just afraid to admit it to themselves.

Like the Rev. Mel White, it took me a long time to admit it to myself. If you want a really good read on the subject; pick up a copy of Mel’s book, “Stranger At The Gate”. He tells of his struggle in admitting his sexuality to himself. If you read it carefully, I think you will get an insight to those he wrote speeches for; fellows whose names you will readily recognize. Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, and many more of the mainstream religious right employed Mel in the job of ghostwriter. I once had a copy autographed by Mel; but loaned to someone who never returned it. I had to by a copy from Amazon.

“Stranger At The Gate” is out of print; but may be available at Amazon. Good luck and stay clean where it counts.

AND SPEAKING OF SEX

I have been busy writing my sexual memoirs for the last month and a half. I have, also, been reading other blogs of gay men and women (mostly men) and have come to the conclusion that sex is a rather interesting subject for all of us.

Whether I publish the mini novel somewhere still remains to be seen. No pictures, only words. I wish I had a camera to record some of those adventures; but they wouldn't rival the pictures we are able to download from newsgroups. Some mighty fine boi pictures there. I say boi; but I don't mean to insinuate the pictures are of underage boys, however some are. It is impossible to tell what you are downloading and looking at until you actually download and look at the pictures. What makes this whole subject so damn thing bad is that you can be in trouble from the law if they even find traces of pictures of underage bois on your computer. AND you should know that even if you delete the offend offending photos, they still may be able to find traces of the pictures.

Now, if you read my mini novel you will have pictures in your head, not actual pictures on your computer. Easy, huh? OK, don't get your hormones agitated, I haven't decided if I will publish them. I am still fighting with Microsoft Word over their interpretation of my language. I say something like "we were" and the language editor flags that as not acceptable; it is passive voice. Well hell, of course it is. I am describing something that happened in the past. I don't know how to get around this feature; but I am working on it.

Those were some very sexual times. I learned to masturbate from my 16 year old next door neighbor when I was only 8 years old. I describe my teenage years in erotic detail (at least, I think it is erotic); it was erotic when it happened. Some people would say that I was a very naughty boy. I wasn't naughty, just sexual. Remember the old phrase," if it feels good, do it'? Well, I did it. I did it and more.

Changing the subject a bit, Felix and I are not at odds, he says he knows me better than to be upset at me for my outburst last evening. I am glad about that. I love the little shit too much to have him mad at me. I will say that without his help last evening, the new bookcase in my room would not be there. I depend on Felix more than I realize.

Hey, have you looked at your front yards lately. Ours is turning yellow, yellow with dandelions. Damn, another $30 buck outlay for weed killer. This living in the burps can get expensive. I won't even mention the price of a gallon of gasoline. I do like living here because we have a certain amount of independence. There are no "quiet times" to be observed because of the folks living next door. If we want to play the stereo loud, we can do that; if we want to play the hot sex scene on the DVD loud, we can do that, too. Hey, nothing like having the grunts and moans so loud the sub woofer vibrates the windows. You can really get into that. The advantage is that no one will recognize your voice when you join in.

I said this post would be speaking about sex. I think I touched on the subject, without revealing names. Well, except for Felix; but you already know that he is a horny toad. Before my surgery, he was always jumping me. Those were good times. I would sell my virginity just to be able to fuck again. Oh, BTW, I haven't had sex in so long that I am now a virgin again.

ASSHOLE, ASSHOLE

I can be such an asshole at times. I amaze myself at how insensitive I am getting. I really don't know why; but the signs are right there in front of me. Tonight Felix came home from work to have one of his favorite meals, or so he had hoped. He loves spaghetti so I tried my darnedest to fix spaghetti, Italian sausage and garlic bread for him. I am not a big fan of spaghetti so, as you would expect, I screwed up supper. The spaghetti was undercooked and the garlic bread didn't start toasting the oven tunil we sat down to eat. I had forgotten to turn on the oven.

After supper we assembled a bookcase that I had picked up yesterday. It went well; but installing it next to my desk in my office didn't go so well. The desk had to be moved a couple of inches and that turned into a major job. Felix got the two-wheel dolly and I put it under one end of the desk and we managed to get it moved. During this process, my back started to hurt and I had to get off my feet. I asked Felix to move 12 reams of letter size printer paper from the chair to somewhere else. He threw them in the floor. I guess he was getting upset at that point, Ya think?

I yelled at him for throwing them in the floor. I was afraid he would bust the wrapper around the ream. I was right; but that did not give me license to yell as I did. Every time we try to do a project around this damn house, Felix allows his patience to run thin and I start hollering at him. Who is at fault? Well, I accept the blame because there is no reason for me to yell. I know he is not adept at many mechanical things and I should allow for that; but something kicks in and I expect him to know and do everything exactly as I would know and do. That is just plain assinine on my part. I love the guy and all my hollering does is drive him into seclusion.

I am afraid that if I can't stop this temper of mine, I am going to drive him further and further away. That is the very last thing I would knowingly do. I ruined a relationship 16 years ago and here I am doing it again.

Felix, please accept my public apology for my fit of temper and my sorrow for the way I acted. Also, I am sorry for the fuck-up supper I served tonight. Maybe tomorrow night it will be better. You tell me wha you want and if I can't fix it myself, I will take you to any restaurant you want to have the meal you want.

Felix, I am so very sorry that I fly off the handle so easily. Please forgive me. I love you.

ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK

That's what my mother used to say. All work and no play makes lots of jack, money to you. I guess that is why I am going broke, huh? All I do is play, play, play. I wish I was a good poker or blackjack player; I could make lots of money. Probably would get my ass thrown out of a casino or two.

I have been watching the Travel Channel and the card games from Vegas. I would like to be able to play like those guys. Two things keep me from doing that.

1. I don't have a poker face; I would show my glee or glum at every hand dealt me.
2. I can't even win a game of Solitaire on the damn computer.

I envy the guys who do the card counting at 21 or blackjack. They really know their stuff. Also, they get their butts thrown out of the casinos all over the country. The casino does not have to let anyone play. They really only want the high rollers who lose and the little old ladies who gamble for fun. They make big buckss on them.

Felix and I had a wonderful weekend. No sex; but lots of close friendship and love between us. As I said yesterday, we drove half way across the state for supper. Felix said he would like to do that again. Hey Stud, me too. He said we should prepare for a day's trip to the northern part of the state to visit a friend. Leave here early in the day and plan on a good supper in a top rated restaurant and arrive home at sundown or later. This means we have to plan the day for our cats to have enough food to feed them all day. When you have six of the furry creatures, it takes a lot of planning. The little critters demand a lot of attention every day. We love the heck out of them and worry ourselves sick when we are away from them for any length of time.

When we got home yesterday, we were met at the door by all six of them. "Where were you and why don't you feed me" was their cry. We fed them quickly.

I will remain broke for the rest of my life; because I love to take trips, eat at fine restaurants and play with our six furry, little creatures.

Reserve me a place at the World Poker Tour.

ARE THESE TITLES SUPPOSED TO REPRESENT SOMETHING

Felix and I had to sign a new paper for the insurance company to attest that we were, indeed, a loving, gay couple of male homosexuals. Since my health insurance covers him, they want to make sure we are who and what we say we are. So, once again, Felix got a copy of his birth certificate and we trucked out to a notary to sign the papers and send them to the Big Cheese insurance company. Maybe the want pictures of us in the act; I dunno. This is the second time we have had to affirm our love for each other. Why not let us get married and be done with it? I know these things make Felix uncomfortable. I don't give a shit one way or the other, anymore. I am gay, big fucking deal.

Felix is still in the work force and it may not be in his best interest to hang a sign around his neck saying that he is a big queer fag. I think some folks would get upset at this. Anyhoo, we have gone and dood it and I hope that will make the damned insurance company happy. Wonder what they will come up with in another two years? Maybe we should get a photog in here and take some pictues of us in bed. That should set their balls on fire.

After that we went to breakfast at a local eatery. Then we came home and Felix went downstairs to do laundry and other things, like sleep in the recliner with the TV on. See, I ain't so dumb. I sat back on the living room couch and fell asleep. Had one dream that I was back in grade school; now why in the hell would I dream about that? The second dream was more erotic and involved my Felix and I in a passionate embrace, some feeling of each other and a protracted kiss. Then I woke up to a little 8 month old kitten laying on me. (Please, no comment about a pussy, Felix wouldn't like that.) LOL

For supper, Felix got one of those wild hairs up his little pucker and we decided to drive about 90 miles for our supper. And that is exactly what we did. We drove half way across the state to a nice restaurant for supper. That was a nice trip, giving us a chance to talk about some problems, at work and at home. As far as the food, we could have stayed in our own area and had the same thing; but it was nice to get away for a while The scenery was nice, the day was nice, the sun was at our backs; and Felix paid the bill. What more can I ask for?

And it's only Saturday night. We have one more full day of Felix being home from work. I may break out the whip tomorrow and whip his little ass into doing all sorts of work. Yeah, right. LOL

UNCLE SAM'S PAYDAY

Take note, happy folk; next Friday is the day you get to give your life's savings to your Uncle Sam. The way our poor old Uncle has been spending money lately, he is liable to go completely broke before you or I do. There are so many expenses to running a government. You wouldn't want General Fuzz Nuts to sit his ass on just any toilet seat, would you? Of course not. The General need a gold plated toilet seat to sit his gold plated stinking ass on. And our government, being the kind, generous and most wasteful of all governments will be happy to oblige

Now, you wouldn't want a high ranking General like General Fuzz Nuts to come home from the rigors of war and tell of the indignity of having his gold plated balls hanging in just any old Latrine, would you? We must keep our General's happy so they can keep our military men and women happy. You know, the ones who ran the Abu Garhib prison and had such nice smiles when the camera caught them with the whips and electric prods in their hands. I wonder what it feels like to have an electiv prod shoved up your ass? I don't think I want to find out. I will stick to the plain old vanilla runof the mill battery powered vibarator. Well, I can't even do that anymore; but Felix still likes it.

We must keep the men and women of the U. S. military happy, safe, sound, protected and well fed. Too fucking damned bad we don't. No, instead we waste money on useless objects like gold plated toilet seats. Wonder how many pine boxes we have used to return the bodies of deceased soldiers to America. I wonder if they ever had the privilege of sitting their ass on a gold plated toilet seat? Probably not; but then they don't have a gold plated ass like the good General. And besides, they aren't a gold plated asshole like the General.

Nope, I was never in the military. Do you remember the movie, "Full Metal Jacket"? If I had been in the military, I probably would have been they guy sitting on the plain old plastic toilet seat.

Happy April 15, from me to you.

Felix doesn't like shit

Whoops, there I go using words that upset the little darlin. Hey, when you have a colostomy like I do, shit becomes a major issue. Did you know the everything you eat turns to shit? My nephew, when he was about 12 years old realized that fact and went on a hunger strike because he didn't like the smell when he went to the bathroom. This lasted for a full week, then he began to eat and shit again. Funny, you say. Well, sometimes shit is not a laughing matter.

When you have a colostomy you must be very careful of what you eat, where the nearest restroom facilities are and do you have sufficient privacy to drain and clean your colostomy pouch. Gross, huh? Well, live with it, I HAVE to. I didn't ask for this; but it is what has allowed me to have a few extra years after cancer took it's toll on my asshole. I have to watch what I eat, how I eat and what and how much I drink. The water or liquid intake can be very dangerous. I try not to over drink when away from home.

For those readers who have kept up with my posts, you already know the joys and disappointments of having a colostomy. The over abundance of liquid can cause early failure of the wafer attached to the skin by adhesive. Did you know that shit is very corrosive? Well, not exactly corrosive; but it does cause early failure of adhesive. This takes special care and is a special pain at times. Many people, Felix included in this, do not like to discuss the subject of a colostomy. I don't blame them and this is one of the reasons I think Felix is hesitant to have sexual relations. It is, also, the main reason I keep my sweat pants on during these times. No one should have to endure looking at a colostomy pouch. Even I get grossed out at times by the site of the damn thing. However, as I said, it has helped keep me alive.

For some strange reason, colostomy wearer's put out a lot o gas. More gas than a normally equipped person with a normal asshole. Gee, what I wouldn't give for a real asshole and a working dick, again. All these new fangled things would not need be here. Life goes on, with all the gadgets that help keep me alive. That gas has to be "burped" out of the pouch before it fills the pouch to the point that the pouch and wafer pushes against the skin and comes loose. That has happened about 3 times. That is not a nice event. You don't want to be around when that happens. The air smells like shit. And shit smells like shit.

Now that was lesson 1 in the subject of Colostomy 101.

The "M" word

Mommie, I did it. Man, I am dumb. Mother F. Which word is the M word? It is the word that women think is the worst word in the world. It is the word that allows men to live without women. No, not fuck; the word I am talking about is MASTURBATION. Men can live without women if they masturbate.

Is masturbation wrong? Is it cheating on your wife or your partner? Is it wrong? NO, NO and NO. Masturbation is a normal function of the body, male or female. It is a way to relieve sexual tension without having your partner with you. Is that wrong? I don't think so. Do my years of masturbation qualify me as an expert? LOL. How much masturbation is necessary to qualify one as an expert? Expert on masturbation or expert at masturbation? I am not a medical doctor, so I do not qualify as an expert on the subject. I have been doing it since I was 8 years old, so I may qualify as an expert masturbator.

What? you want to compare notes? That is not the intent of this post. My partner, Felix, and I have been talking about masturbation today; and he had the thought that he would be cheating on me if he masturbated in his bed while I stayed up and watched TV, or made blog posts. I tried to assure him that I did not consider it a cheating on me. Before my surgery, he would masturbate in his bed at night and I would do the same in my bed. I knew what he was doing and he knew what I was doing. It was consensual. Now that giving Felix pleasure is my only sexual activity, he is feeling guilty.

I do not consider Felix wrong. I think it is a very natural way to release sexual tension and to have sexual pleasure on your own terms. He can do it in the way that pleasures him the most. I think that is wonderful. After all, don't we all want sexual pleasure and don't we want our partners to help us achieve the utmost of personal pleasures in our sexual activity? Sure, we do. Watch a video if you don't believe me. Those guys use many different methods to masturbate. You can see the satisfaction on their faces.

Just because I can't function as I used to; does not mean that Felix must not have the satisfaction that he grew up having. Men and women are supposed to have sexual satisfaction. God made us as sexual beings. He made some female, some male; some heterosexual and some homosexual. I am a male homosexual and Felix is the same. Felix is my perfect lover. I want him to have pleasure from me and when I am nto in bed with him, I see no wrong in his masturbation. Do you?

Leave me a note if you have a comment on this. Viva Masturbation.

THE DAY THE SHIT STOOD STILL

I have a colostomy. Do I need to explain? I have a very difficult time making the damn thing stick to my skin. I don't know why. Before I attach a new wafer (the part that attaches to my abdomen), I wash and dry it thoroughly. I use all the prescribed methods and products to get all the adheasive off my skin; but I still have problems making the damn wafer stay attached to my skin. I have used all sorts of extra adhesives, including those from the appliance maker; but the damn thing still leaks smells and sometimes liquid. Oh yes, you would be surprised at how much liquid is in the human stool.

If I have upset your taste at this point, stop reading. It will only get worse. Normally, I am supposed to get three days wear from each wafer. There have been times when I am lucky if the fucking thing will last 12 hours. Also, I have been prone to dehydration at times, and that causes me to put out a large amount of liquid. I say liquid; to differentiate between water. It is as thin as water. This has the effect of causing the wafer to pull away from the skin. I have been known to put out the liquid so fast that it is almost like a small faucet. A quart in 10 minutes. Like diarreah. The only way to stop this is to take Lomotil, which is an antidiarreahal pill.

I have called the company that makes these colostomy things and they sent some samples of their product that is supposed to be better. The only problem is that the wafers are not of the right size. These damn things cost upwards of 60 bucks a box of 10. Now add on 40 bucks for the box of pouches that attach to the wafers and you see why I bitch so much about how long they last. Thank God for insurance; however, there is a catch to that. The insurance company says I am allowed 10 per month. That puts me right back to the 3 day expected wear of the damn wafer. This last weekend I used three wafers in one day.

This is beginning to put me between a rock and a hard place. I am becoming very depressed at this situation. Now, I have to call the company back and explain that to them. Will they send more samples. Fuck, at the prices they charge, they could well afford to send me a full year's supply; but we all know they won't. That isn't the way business works, is it. For those of you who still use good old toilet paper, be thankful. Toilet paper is cheap. I really don't know what I am going to do, short of just shootimg myself and getting out of this fucking mess.

Of course, that isn't really a solution to the problem. I want to find a product that works and works right. I suspect that part of the problem is "shelf life" of the product. They are manufactured, they are shipped to a warehouse, then sold to a supplier who may keep them on their shelves for God only knows how long; then they are sold to me. Here is a hot little fact for you. The SKU for the wafer I am now wearing, isn't even in the manufacturers catalog. It was discontinued in 2003. Has anyone checked a calendar lately? It is 2005. How does one little fat, gay, man get this situation corrected?

I like peace and quiet; not confrontation and challenge. All I want is the damned wafer to do what it is supposed to do, what it is advertised to do. Change suppliers you say. Not if I want the insurance company to pay for them. You see, when your medical supplies are being paid for by an insurance company, you will obtain them from the place the insurance company says you will use. Anywhere else and you will pay the full fucking cost of the supplies. Oh, I learned a long time ago; don't anger the insurance company. They can make your life into a living hell. Can it be any worse than it is now????????????

SUNDAY, THE DAY FOR CHICKEN SHIT HILL

I ask you, would you eat at a restaurant called "Chicken Shit Hill"? Well, I love it. The building goes back to the original Vandalia Trail; the old stagecoach trail that ran from St. Louis, MO to Vandalia, Illinois. Believe me, it looks the part. The old backbar inside is over 110 years old. Now, this place is not a bar, it is a full service restaurant. I have been acquainted with it for over 30 years; althought I do not eat there as often as I would like, I do eat there as often as I can.

The menu is not a piece of paper, it is written on a blackboard on the wall. They are known all over Central Illinois for their fried chicken; however that is not the only way they serve chicken. Nor is chicken the only thing on their menu. They have roast turkey, baked chicken, steak, fish, homade country sausage and more than I can remember. Felix and I decided to treat ourselves today and made the pilgrimage to Chicken Shit Hill. We filled our bellies and after an hour, waddled out to my car. It is nice when the management recognize us when we walk in. It makes us feel at home.

Didn't I tell you yesterday, that we would discuss sex and FOOD. Today, Felix and I did not have sex, we had FOOD. I kid you not; if you have the chance to eat at Chicken Shit Hill, do it or just shoot yourself. You will not find a better fried chicken in the entire state.

Now, shall we discuss ses? Yeah, right. I will tell you that I shot a couple of pictures of him after I gave him a thril last week. Wanna see them? Nope, I won't post them. Sorry about that. I have them in my personal collection for me to drool over. I can look at them every day and drool. Nice Felix, nice.... well, you know. That boy really turns me on and I just loved to turn him on.

Now, my major problem is finding him in the mood to be turned on. He comes home from work, sits his cute little ass down, eats supper, then goes down to his office to handle business for about an hour. After an hour of TV, Felix is ready to go to bed and start the whole process over. I hate the fact that he has to work for a living. If I could change one thing, I think it would be to make us weathy enough that he did not have to work. My condition can be tolerated if only he had more time at home. I am in seventh heaven whenever he is with me. God, how I love Felix.

A BLOG CAN BE A PAIN IN THE ASS

I try to post to this blog every day; but the Internet connection does not always cooperate. Sometimes the damn thing works and other times there is no computer connection to the outside world AND to television, either. I like cable for two reasons. One, I get over 200 channels including my local channels. Two, our Internet connection is the fastest offered. The only thing faster would be a T3 wired connection from the phone company. I can't afford that. Just think what a dedicated T3 connection would cost. WOW.

My other complaint about having a blog is trying to come up with interesting things to talk about. How about sex, sex and more sex. Yeah, that would definitely do it. It would, also, kill me to have that much sex. It would be fun for a week or so to have sex three or four times a day; but those days are over for me. When I was a teenager, I once did 13 times in an 8 hour day; but, trust me, I was wore out when that contest was over. BTW, I didn't win the contest. A friend of mine did. He bested me by 4 times. After that, I wasn't interested in three days.

OK, now you know I am not going to have a lot of sexual exploits to talk about; but I will talk about sex often. After all, I am GAY. What else are gay men interested in? SEX. Right. Well, eating and sleeping do come in there somewhere.

Felix and I went out for breakfast, then came home and took a short nap. After reading the mail from the Post Office and paying a few bills; I woke him up and we made a 35 mile trip to one of our favorite restaurants for supper. Felix got a large 3-cheese burger and I ordered a 20 ounce BBQ pork steak. Man, that was good. Didn't I tell you we would talk about food? We took a short side trip to check out the residence of two hobby club members I know, who share the same address. I thought it may be a duplex; but it was a single family residence. So, I guess, I have found two more members of the gay sex club.

When I first met the younger fella, my gaydar went off. I thought he was gay; but had not confirmed it. After our side trip today, or was that yesterday; I now know. He likes a hot one up his ass. OK, no problem. Before my surgery, I used to like one there, too. Now, I get my jollys by helping Felix get his. My lips are still in working shape, even if the rest of my boyd isn't. Well, not in the shape I wish it were.

We drove by the large city park and I remembered a couple of years ago when we attended the Gay Pride Day festivities. Felix says it is too early in the year for that. All I can remember was that it was a rainy day and sort of cold. Well, I was close, today was sort of cold. If I can figure out how to post a picture in this blog, I will post one of the 2005 Gay Pride Day. Until then, ya-all have a nice day. Remember, you won't live forever, so take advantage of the opportunities God gives you.

DISAPOINTMENT AND DEPRESSION ARE BAD

Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed. This day went down hill as soon as Felix got to work. Felix had a bad day, discovering that his loyalty to his employer came before a friendship with a fellow employee. Felix had to reveal an irregularity that he wishes he had never discovered. From my perspective, Felix will be the hero and the other guy, who shares an interest in a hobby with me, will be the looser. No one wants to be in the position of ratting on an acquaintance.

We had intended to visit a local restaurant for some good food and eye candy. Felix wants to get in this guy's pants; but the guy seems to be a straight as an arrow. This does not keep us from eating at that restaurant and looking at his ass. Well, I like to see the other side, Felix is the ass looker. I like to see that bulge in front and imagine what a fine looking speciman of naked manhood the guy would be.

Well, the guy was not working this evening. We went to a burger joint and had a quick meal. I was the one who got to look at the eye candy. A group of high school students came in and one of the kids was quite obvious in his sexuality. Cute kid. Felix talked about the problem at work; because it weighs heavy on him. We came home, watched a little TV together, then he went downstairs to his office and did some computer work. He came back upstairs about 8 PM and sat down to watch more TV. By 9PM he was asleep in his recliner. I woke him up screaming at my damn TiVo because the fucking thing kept screwing up.

I apologized and he went back to his room to go to bed at 9:30. This is early for him. I feel bad for waking him up, and for his depression. I have been in a similar situation and the only advice I can offer is to hold firm and let things play out without any further input. Let upper level management do their jobs.

I hope this weekend improves, for his sake. Well, for mine, too. I need to get out and get away from these 4 walls. Life goes on; good or bad, we are stuck with it. Felix, take a pill, chill out, then get naked and whack off. I always felt better after that. Hope you do, too.

I love you.

JELLY BEANS ARE ADDICTIVE

Of course, just as i was getting ready to post a new note on my blog the damn cable ISP went down. For some reason, they have gone off three nights in a row, sometime between midnight and 2 AM. Last night, I simply said "the hell with it" and went to bed. Then I tossed and turned for then next 2 hours.

Now, I sit here at 7 AM snacking on Felix's jelly beans. If I eat them all, he will be mad. If I leave them for Felix to eat, they stand a chance of going stale before he eats them. First off, he is not a big candy eater. He wanted frozen Snickers Bars. OK, we bought a box every other week at the grocery. Now, a four week old box sits in the freezer, and I do not believe he has even touched them. I, on the other hand, will eat candy, cake, pie; you name it, anytime of the day or night. Hey, what can you expect from a guy who eats White Castles for breakfast? Yep, when I was still working, I stopped off at White Castle at 6 in the morning and bought 4 belly bombers, fries and a coke. Can you say "oink"?

Yesterday, I adjusted my blood pressue medication. My pressure was too low because I was taking too much medication. My doctor will probably have a fit; but better he should have a fit at me than be talking to my casket. I have been on BP medication for the last 20 years. My BP began to go out of control at a fairly young age; either due to the long hours on the job or something else that was not identified. It could have been due to the stress of my ex-wife. Funny how men always blame their ex-wives for everything. The ladies always blame their ex-husbands. I wonder, what if we just didn't get married? What if we just lived together and had mad, passionate, sex and forgot about the marriage license? HMMmm.

I am not advocating free love here. For that matter, I am not even advocating hetrosexuality. There are times when I think we may be better off if we did't have sex to bother with. Then, I quickly forget about that when Felix walks into the room. He says he is not interested in making the trip out to wine country in Missouri for a wonderful German meal. Damn. He knows I love that stuff. Well, shit, I just love food; but German food is part of my heritage. Along with corned beef and cabbage. Another delicacy that he hates. I think he could live on a bowl of spaghetti every day of the week. When I suggest a trip to St. Louis's famous "Dago Hill" he says "NO". Sometimes I can figure him out.

I don't think he likes Italian food as much as he just liked the food his Aunt Ethel fixed. Also, he likes some Mexican restaurants and others he doesn't. It isn't the Mexican food that he likes, it is the cute Mexican bois. Ya think? Felix thinks with the little head at times.